The conditions of modern life - less stable, more uncertain than before - increasing the burden of marriage to the man, but the benefits are reduced because it can easily provide its own maintenance and, in general, satisfy the sexual needs. Certainly marriage entails material comfort ("eat better at home or at the restaurant") - comfort erotic - ("it's like having the brothel in the house") - free the individual from loneliness ...
Simone de Beauvoir wrote these words in 1949, but the past has not changed much the situation. Marriage remains, for the man, a pain in the ass. This is why the modern chicken-lit is full of women still willing to convey to the wedding, and men who would rather avoid.
Why should a man marry? For the reasons mentioned above, which were beginning to fade already sixty years ago, and practically do not exist.
Why should a woman marry? For many reasons. Today. Because no matter how professionally committed, the chances of meeting a man who earns more than her and can assure a better position with the marriage is still very high. The Cinderella Complex is a very interesting book, written in 1982 by psychotherapist Colette Dowling, which addresses "the subtle fear of women to be independent." Morbid fear and underground that would push women to seek a richer man that would enable them to give up careers, if they have one, or at least leave it in the background. Legacy of centuries of submission, the Cinderella Complex is a good reason to choose marriage. But not the only one. The imperative
children is another. Imperative, even if today the array function attributed to being female is hypocritically denied, in fact remains the defining element of femininity. One can easily argue that you do not need marriage to have kids. It's true. But in Italy a child born out of Marriage, as recognized, is not legally equated with not only one born within marriage, but even an unborn child. If not for themselves, their offspring a woman (and often a man, and this is perhaps the only rational reason to push the Italian man at the wedding) would like the wedding.
Then of course there are the reasons of social order. I'd rather they did not exist it would be so nice if everyone lived their life for himself in the respect of others without feeling you have something to prove to these others. But there are. The mother who dreams about you in the white dress (and him with a wedding ring). Your friends who are all already (pfff. ..) you are married and remained the only can not decide (I always pair already formed, and the choice of single is another topic) or to decide that he does not know him. The marriages of your friends who were all wonderful though to be honest in all of them there was something wrong with the marriage of its type Pinuccia with T Ford that it took two hours to get to the restaurant or the Feast Rosa that without the dessert buffet is not a real marriage ceremony or Marianna church with the groom's mother that the phone rang while they exchanged rings. The colleagues who continue to ask, and then, when you decide? The friends that after the first two minutes of conversation always ends invariably ask, but she Married? (Can you imagine a dialogue between two men who are doing together for the event queue at the post office and asks the other if one is married? We asked about his sexual orientation ... but asking a woman is considered a normal thing, almost a duty, despite the disuse of the odious term "Miss" ... brrr ...).
short, by hook or by crook, today as in 1949 a woman must get married, although her more and more like the man for the wedding is now just a nuisance. But what can you do?
If one is lucky, finds a man who loves her and loves her, and merely needs to convince him, and maybe even out of the melon is red, as he said Carosone. If instead the bad luck goes, arrived at a certain age can not find one of those rare males for whom marriage is still an important goal in life. This is usually to be sad and heavy (especially the second), which are dragged through the same sad stories in search of the perfect woman until they are now willing to do anything. The union of two solitudes, "said a man, creates a loneliness greater, but more socially acceptable, I might add.
But perhaps these are the only marriages that will last. Marriage is an institution that is tautological in himself his own reason for existing. If there were, there would be no reason to invent it. So what is marriage better than that of two people who marry not because they love one another, not to start a family, but only to get married?
